5 Important Words

Happy New Year - and New Decade. Is it still possible to say that when you’re one month into the new year? I’m very excited to embrace this opportunity to start fresh again with renewed energy and optimism for what can (and will!) come next. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, especially when there are so many things that one wants to accomplish - but I’ve been working so hard and keeping my head down, manifesting this big dream forward, so I think it’s time to share more of the journey. The more I share, the more it allows other’s good thoughts and wishes manifest - and before you know it, we will have done it. We would have brought this big, beautiful beast to life!

The 5 important words? What. Are. You. Waiting. For?

As an artist, I find particular inspiration and unabashed joy in the images of Georgia O’Keefe in the book GEORGIA O’KEEFE AND HER HOUSES, GHOST RANCH AND ABIQUIU by Barbara Buhler Lynes and Agapita Judy Lopez. It’s about the clear vision and determination that Ms. O’Keefe had in restoring and building the two properties that she made into homes and lived and worked in for the rest of her life. I actually had the opportunity to visit her home in Abiquiu a number of years ago and was struck by how she reworked the space in order to suit her creative process. Her studio featured a massive window nearly the full length of the wall which looked out on the colorful Abiquiu canyons and mountains, with smooth river rocks of all sizes placed along the windowsill and covering tabletops and spaces all over the studio. But this book features the drawings, diagrams and images from when she was doing this restoration work - and I love all the similarities as I tackle the work on the Barjac house. It’s the big dream and the primary goal to push forward for this new year and decade.

I love these two photos of Ms. O’Keefe - as you feel in the first one that she’s discussing something that relates to the house, showing someone (perhaps the person who took the photograph) what she wants, what she loves, what has to be done with the house. The way her arm is raised and her fingers splayed out just so…

And the second image, taken on site as the work on the house was being done. She just looks so damn happy…and satisfied.

I can relate. I can relate to the gorgeous obsessions that make us climb over walls and fixate on doors or stones or a gate. But more than anything, I look forward to that feeling of happiness and satisfaction. I do feel it more and more with every visit…but I want it all, I want that look on her face.

And indeed, I feel that is coming very soon.

Rêver, Le rêve (Dream)

James Baldwin in his house in Saint-Paul de Vence

May 12, 1997 - The postmark on a postcard from me to my father and sister from Cannes, where I was working the film festival for the first time. It was my first declaration that I wanted to live in the South of France.

I had travelled in the region before, back in the summer of 1994, which was my first ever trip to France. I was taking two UCLA continuing education course for adults - one on the Belle Epoque and based in Paris for a month and the other on Modern Masters in the South of France, which would travel throughout Provence over three weeks and visit the towns and ateliers of artists such as Picasso, Matisse, Cezanne, Chagall, Van Gogh, and Renoir, amongst others.  We were based in Vence and spent time in St. Remy, Antibes, Nice, Arles, Aix-en-Provence, Vallauris, Avignon and other magical and wonderful spots - but most importantly for me, we also spent a day in Saint-Paul de Vence, which is where James Baldwin spent the last 17 years of his life.  It is said that Saint-Paul de Vence saved him, was his sanctuary, where he found peace and was able to write.  And within minutes of arriving there, I completely understood. I returned there a number of times over the years.

When I wrote that postcard to my dad, I was writing from my heart, from my truth - and it didn’t matter that at the time I had no idea how to make my dream come true. That I didn’t have a clue about how to get a house or how to start to build a life in another country.  All that mattered was that I could feel it.  Deep down in my core, I somehow knew what was meant for me. Little did I know that my strong belief was the first step towards my destiny.

What was once the patio in front of James Baldwin's study in his house in Saint-Paul de Vence, with his writing/reading table. Photo courtesy of Magdalena J. Zaborowska from her wonderful book Me and My House: James Baldwin's Last Decade in France  (no copyright infringement intended)

James Baldwin in the garden of his home in Saint-Paul de Vence

This is just the beginning...

Catching the Big Fish/Building the Big Dream

Life is indeed a great, big adventure and you do get to an age or point in your life when you go, "Hey, how did those years pass so quickly?" "I always wanted to do _____ with my life," or "I always said that by age __ I would do ____." Etc. etc.  And if you're like me, you wake up one morning and suddenly those years passed like mist and right now is the time you were always waiting for.

We've all seen and read about the wonderful stories of our soul sisters who in their 40's (or so) took brave leaps of faith and forged out into the world to see, do, eat, meditate, climb mountains, confront their fears, swim with dolphins or sharks, paint, write the great American (or other) novel or restore an old farmhouse in Tuscany or the South of France...but with the assistance and comfort of a healthy bank account.

Now, if you've been so blessed to have come from money or to have had a successful career that paid you what you were worth or to have had mentors to guide you or family or partners to support you - then that's a beautiful thing.  It's no wonder that such women have gone out into the world and had great adventures and found new and deeper aspects of themselves.  I don't deny them that and mean no disrespect.  

But what if that hasn't been your journey so far? What if you've worked very hard for everything you've ever had? What if you made your own way and didn't necessarily have champions to raise you up but had only yourself to keep your dreams afloat? How do you live the big life, build your big dreams, be your most authentic self no matter who you are, what you have, where you're from or what your age or occupation is?

It's rare that we hear about your everyday, average person finding a way to make their big dreams come true.  It's easy to travel the world in search of yourself when you don't have to worry about how to fund your trip or pay your bills at home.  If you do have those real-life responsibilities, how do you live the fullest life possible - according to what fills your heart and soul?  

I don't think it's ever too late to live the life of your dreams. That's what I intend to do - and I'd like to share my journey with you so you can be inspired to do it too.  Whatever your big dream is, wherever you want to go, whatever you want to do.  What on earth are we waiting for?